nv knew that charles is a fellow lsm major and in same grp somemore! also, he lives only like a few blks away, so we actually bumped into each other at the bus stop on the first day. after that we took the same bus back everyday unless we were going to other places after sch. no wonder some students thought we were siblings. or u noe wad. they say we look alike?! doesnt help that we both have white specs too. and we're both the only child in our families! haha.

for the first time im in a neighbourhood sch, though not a typical one like wad mdm lim says, but at least i got a feel of it. seeing N(T) students, and noticing that they arent that bad afterall. just that the style of teaching will have to be different. singlish does start coming out of my mouth. oh yes i blurted a soft "shit" in class once too. oops. and yes for the first time i see students on detention, suspension, police reports etc. being a DM isn't easy. i salute mr chua for it.

taught in class for the first time with a teacher sitting behind. i noe its not the first time im teaching, but there's a difference when its observed. and i taught them smth wrong somemore! *faints* ok teachers REALLY do make mistakes at times yeah. got feedback frm mr ma after that. class wasn't terrible, but there were nonsense-makers of coz.

loads of observations whenever we can squeeze them, amongst the dialogues with all the hods and senior teachers and the likes of it. seriously, most of the time we aren't at our cubicles for more than an hr a day. and yes we work 12hrs a day towards the end, so much so we kept getting chased out of the staffrm coz its closing. once, the front door of the GO was alr locked and we had to go in via another way to sign out.

i got to watch a bball match too! c div i think. i miss playing bball!! baobao i want to playyyyy!

towards the end we were real busy with our projs, presentations, lvl contact talk and writing cards for teachers. doesnt help that we were chosen to present our proj during the feedback session to all the scholars and some big shot frm moe (at least big enough to us). pei xian was making a face to charles and i when she got the phonecall frm our officer. the proj itself was difficult enough, and we had to edit it and add more stuff for the moe presentation, after the presentation in sch itself. presentation in sch went pretty much ok, just that we were running out of time, and all the teachers have their stuff to do after staff meeting, so i was babbling away real quickly. first time holding a mic to give a presentation. too used to projecting my voice. my hand was shaking, so i couldnt read my script properly. so i just babbled on.

and we had to give a talk to the kids during level contact time as well. my hand was shaking as well, and it was then that i realized that i've not spoken to such a big crowd since p6. the entire sec 3, 4 and 5 levels were in the hall together with their teachers. not to mention we didnt even rehearse it beforehand. so i ended up babbling again. ok it wasnt that difficult afterall, since i already knew my own pts. so it was only a matter of forming grammatically sound sentences on the spot with the ideas i've already had. after that we were told that our talk was v good, and one even asked for our slides. no copyright on it of coz. we converted our proj report into pdf before submitting though. HA.

wrote loads of cards for all the teachers who helped us, with our projs or with letting us crash their lessons. and we couldnt do it in the staffrm of coz, so had to go to like lvl 5 or 6 benches to do it. pretty fun lahz. always have smth entertaining frm some ppl some time. we went to sheng shiong after sch one day to buy biscuits and coffee and stuff to stock up the staff lounge for them before we left too, as a thanks. hehe. got stuff for our indv mentors too.

as u can see its totally new approach to presentations now, really. no definite script, no more running thru till we've heard the presentation 1001 times, no more proper rehearsal. the most would be running through it once or twice, and its only for the sake of timing ourselves. and this is for moe presentation ok. for once, i had no absolute script too, only had points on my piece of paper, and most of the time i wasn't looking at it also. wow, i must say. wow. coz i still rmbr how we slogged for pw presentation. moe presentation turned out ok actually. but i could sense zhanjiang am chio-ing when we were on stage. haha. had lunch with the same bunch of them later.

we watched, as the silence among us turned into outbursts of hysterical laughter, as our totally bare cubicles turned into messy piles of stuff. maybe we can be called friends rather than ex-colleagues already. charles and peixian are flying off to canada already. good luck to them, and maybe i'll get to see yu heng or michelle in sch! we actually wanna go back to sch to eat lunch and drink our daily dose. its ice blended milo with choc syrup on top. on the first day mr ho treated us to it, and we loved it since then. michelle cant live without it! which is why its called the daily dose.

pictures below courtesy of yu heng:) he was going ard with his camera snapping shots all the time.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

withers away @ 3:31 pm

It's something Mystical

its a long post ahead, abt aug so far. super long. u've been warned.

1st aug
i was feeling lazy though i heard lee ling knocking on my neighbours' doors to wake them up. so i just fell back aslp. besides i slpt too late the nite before. so i only joined them after lunch for station games. it was freaking hot. but it was pretty fun i would say. hehe.
then it was washup, dinner and sp. sp is so so fun when u are a senior HAHAHA. it was damn funny to go around playing the freshies. then it was rag junior's presentation, and i saw for the first time how UNDONE rag was. the main float! omg there's only wood for now. we have. A WK LEFT. happy. helped out in rag after that. it was damn funny that rag turned into a kbox session, with random ppl going to sing songs along with youtube vids. the freshies are pretty much siao on. ck and i had trouble forcing freshies to go and slp! it was nearly 3 by the time i finished helping with rag and finished my prata supper. i bet u there're still ppl down there. not only raggers, but those who are going to wake up early the next day, knowing that it is a full tiring day.
talked to some yr 2s that i've nv even spoken a word to (yes i mean not even a hi) in the past yr. in fact i was suprised that they even knew my name. all by virtue that we're all seniors now, and we want to take care of our freshies, and we want the best for swoc. sometimes its pretty surprising what circumstances can force ppl to become.

2nd aug
woke up along with the freshies. got my lanyard!! v happy hehe. thx to tat chin! but i was suddenly thrown with the job of being a station master for the amazing race ard nus coz yinghui had smth to attend to. so in the end even lionel the swoc chair knew me (by face), and got to know nicholas frm blk e, since he's my partner at the station. totally random man. met wang xiao at the bus stop and he was going for special sem exam. realized nicholas wants to apply for teaching scholarship too! hahaha. so we were just talking random stuff, abt hall, abt education system, abt wadea. waiting at the station was pretty sian coz i was asked so suddenly to help that i totally forgot to bring stuff to entertain myself. being my first time as a station master, i was a little lost. coz we have to change tweak the numbers for the rules of the game according to the no of ppl in each grp that came. at least nicholas did a demo for me, and i managed to lead a grp in the game all by myself at last. hehe.
lunch was screwed, coz uncle vincent screwed up. so alvin and gang had to dabao like 160 boxes of food frm arts and biz at the last min. so, that means not enough for seniors to eat, coz priority of coz goes to the freshies and councillors. so that means i wasnt entitled to eat. but ppl were so nice to share their food with me! ck, lee ling, shi min, lai mun all gave me some of their food. cmon i know they're damn hungry like me too, esp when they've been running ard nus with the freshies, so i was really touched.
then came field games. i tot i could be exempted like last yr, but no. damnit. coz i had no legitimate reason like last yr (bloody finger couldnt stop bleeding), so i went down to play for subway and tummy roll when they needed more ppl. keesiao lah laughing like crazy. lee ling was so tickled by me when i just lifted both her legs and moved them coz they were in the wrong direction for subway. both of us just laughed like idiots. and we both were tickled by min woo (yes kim min woo. korean!) during tummy roll. damn funny lah. oh yes crazy ck started a taupok. win. he was like eh ppl do u all noe wad is taupok (coz 90% of our freshies are international students). den they started. and nearly died esp when jie shen went up. HA.
got all wet and dirty and colourful, but that's the fun of field games man. lao jiao liao, played them over and over again. next yr? hmmm tt will be freaking lao jiao.
during dinner they played the rag vid. aw man. it stirred that sensational feeling in my heart. there's only so little i did, but so much remained. i couldnt find the words to tell my neighbours abt how i felt on rag day last yr. i guess its one of the things that cant be told. u need to be there yourself, involved, before u can feel it.

3rd aug
sentosa! woke up early. while waiting to board the bus the freshies played the animal game. zhen lin kena forfeit and we were all pushing him to sing, coz frm the helping out of rag that day we could tell he can sing real well. apparently he won some competition back in msia. so given a choice of a striptease or to sing, of coz he chose to sing. and he sang kenji's 残废. it was good lah! potential geyao man.
when we reached sentosa, we realized it was freaking hot. this sentence was repeated abt 1001 times throughout the day, coz the sun beat down on us with no clouds in the sky. continously for the entire morning and afternoon with no shelter nor shade. its crazy.
talking abt crazy, chaya was totally siao on. at first on the bus blk c was still slpy and all. councillors and seniors were trying so hard to get their spirits up. u noe 5 of us were louder in cheering than all the freshies? doink. but! chaya RAN all their stations for the amazing race except for one, where they took bus. we had 10 stations in all. they RAN, not walked. crazy ppl, though i admit we were once crazy like them too. the best thing was, they initiated the running, we seniors and councillors didnt even speak abt running. we were struggling to keep up with them, and poor hanzen was carrying the backpack with all the bottles of water for chaya. they ended up being the only og who completed all the stations within stipulated time. yahoo~
beach games saw me taking min woo's camera and snapping shots. i didnt want to play HAHA. didnt get as wet as i anticipated, coz i was with lanyards. it was just alot of baking in the sun basically. and me going a little crazy with cheering at certain stations. ck did the taupok thing AGAIN. i couldnt take out the camera on time, so only managed to snap a shot of them coming off ck. and of coz ck nearly died again.
was sp at night. the stars were beautiful. i was mostly taking care of zhao ke though. she felt sick after that exposure to the sun and immediate cold shower after that. so i accompanied her at the benches outside 7-11. and of coz we started chatting coz there wasn't anything else to do. and once again i'm mistaken as a chatty outspoken person. im so different when you compare camps and daily stuff.
on the way back i was so tired i fell aslp. they had to wake me up when we arrived. ohwells. and yes i was left aching in my legs and stomach. the freshies too.

4th aug
they had freshman inaug ceremony, which obviously i didnt go for. after that was pool games which i was too lazy to go for too. besides i have no swimwear whatsoever. found out later that gloria (my neighbour, kane's couz) was the only girl there. all the other girls ko-ed.
i took my dirty clothes home and brought fresh ones back coz i was running out of clothes alr. i missed my stop, so ended up going into ntuc to buy stuff. doink. then went to subway to get my.. lunch? dinner? whatever. the funny thing was that, i met isk when i was at the bus stop behind hall. then i met him again after i finished getting subway. so he was like why are u here AGAIN!? hahaha damn funny lah.
at night was the briefing for flag and distribution of cans and stickers and shirts. wow. i was THERE doing all that last yr, and getting all flustered. thanks to all the seniors who helped me then. and the same ppl came back to do flag too! like zhao! one cockster lah he haha. when i kept thinking abt the 92k we raised last yr, it was... such a proud feeling. we did it, thanks to gilyn.
chatted with my neighbours for. v long. seriously i dun rmbr wad we were talking abt alr, but we were just talking. ohwells. wun ever get this again when i start work. ARGH can someone remind me why i prefer being a student so much more than working.

5th aug.
craziness. needed to wake up at 3.30am. gathering at mpsh at 4am. i was supposed to wake the lvl up, so i couldnt slp properly. kept waking up. so essentially i probably slpt for 2hrs at most. everyone was pretty much like a zombie, esp the councillors. so in compensation, we had donuts for breakfast!! at least the freshies perked themselves up by playing tookie tookie. orientation games rox.
block c's given the nel line, and the bus was supposed to drop all of us off at punggol and we'll be despatched in grps frm there, with a senior in each grp. but just so happened they assigned me with harbourfront. so i was like hello can i not go to punggol. coz its totally stupid and defeats the whole purpose of us going out so early. ended up taking 2 freshies xia ling and zhang zhe with me to board the harbourfront bus. it was freaking early. duh. ppl were surprised that we were there so early.
kena chased by vivo guards, kena FOLLOWED by a certain hall, making me curse them under my breath coz its damn irritating to have ppl following u wherever u go to snatch ur business. nearly fell aslp at the bus stop. was guarding my can like mad. i must have saw abt 30 other ppl in the harbourfront area, the whole world must be damn sian diao looking at these orange ppl.
went back relatively early. needed to return the cans to yinghui, but reached sr3 and realized she's not there. she left a note to say to call jun seong. called him but he was busy. so had to wait outside for him.
and finally i could go back, check bidding, wash up, SLEEP. nearly didnt wake up in time for dinner.

6th aug
was awoken at 7.30 though i told gloria i wouldnt be going for war games. turned out that lee ling was down with fever and needed panadol. she was a super obstinate patient, refusing to slp or take temp or drink enough water. thing was she kept insisting on going for war games! look at the damn weather its only going to make her recovering fever worse. couldnt persuade her in the end. but she turned out ok and said she'll see the doc the next day. good. gloria and i nearly jumped off while trying to take care of her.
monitored bidding the entire day. glad that it turned out ok eventually. not funny to have different patterns each sem, and that's exactly wad has happened. its the 5th sem alr kthxbye.
then came finale night. sp revelation. was just looking on. blk skits were damn funny. and blk c still holds the tradition of putting up skits which dun really make sense/no one really uds fully. break camp.
after that was rag. rag. rag. more rag. till 4.30. shag. as i was walking out of comm hall i felt like i couldnt walk str. but cmon, that's wad rag is supposed to be like! u see ppl like samson slping on the sofa in the comm hall and lobby, and i assure u its only a nap. u see graduated seniors like wendy and tat coming back to help and they were still working happily when i left. u see ppl who were in rag main comm/sub comm last yr helping out non-stop. there was still alot left to be done, but i noe somehow or another, we would make it happen. its the 3rd yr i've seen it. putting chancellor's shield aside, its really a whole hall effort coming to make smth like that possible.

7th aug
mad rush for rag. no i shld say it was ok at first. i was doing the cutting and pasting of cds with my blk freshies. oh yes a freshie mistook me as a fellow freshie! hehehe. matt bought back our lunch at 3+. we finished up wad we started and ate lunch at nearly 4. the few of us still had the time to take bubble tea orders for our blkmates and went over to pgp to get the bubble tea and darius' lunch.
but by the time we went back to do rag, it was mad rush already. the freaking main float wasnt even detailed much yet. we were cutting, painting and drying stuff meant for the main float at around dinner time. YES its that late. u can see ppl like sandra and jaburu busying themselves, and yeemun with the detailing. it wasnt the first time that jaburu told me over these days that i should be outside doing the detailing of the main float, since i've done it before and know how it should be done. but no one told me to do it.
until a couple of hours before cut off time at 1am, dina was like EH u noe how to do the tessellations right! im like yah like last time right.. it was then that i got to see the corrugated cardboard and got joy to grab contact glue. i knew right there and then that there's freaking no time. first time im up on top of the lorry head to do detailing. not easy to sit there with the moveable mechanism on top of the lorry head. but we managed somehow. i eventually overcame my imagination of losing balance and falling. there was once when sean had to drive the lorry in a such a way that they could mount the pyramid on the lorry head without hitting the ceiling. and yes with joy and i balancing on it. and he had to stall the lorry. doink.
we tried to do as fast as we could alr, but i looked at my watch and knew time wasn't on our side. someone, jun seong i think, kept counting down the time. and u start seeing damn lao jiao seniors (yes graduated ones) like kaiyuan coming back to help after their work. and yes they still have to work tml. and also jun kiat and chio on the lorry head itself helping out with the tessellations with joy and i. in fact, chio was still wearing his office wear!
we were so short of time, we ended up using double sided tape instead of contact glue. in fact i heard that we used emulsion paint instead of oil-based paint for alot of stuff. in fact jun seong and the other guys were trying to dismount and mount the mechanism on the lorry head while joy and i were sitting on it. was fully trusting the guys not to do anything that would knock me off the lorry head.
and there came the countdown of 15 min, 4 min, 2 min. it was freaking freaking scary coz we still had detailing to do!! we ended up just pasting the cardboard in our fastest speed, not bothering if the edges touched each other, coz we needed to get off before the guys could drill the pyramid onto the mechanism on the lorry head. got off as fast as i could with the support of the guys. and watched as they did the last drilling.
den jun seong did the last countdown and shouted for the last time "all guys off the float!" when it came 1am. ppl cheered, ppl like sandra cried, but i really had no strength to. it wasnt exactly shag shag, but more of, it was such a rush! we were so pressed for time it was crazy and scary. its crazy. im alr yr 3. and yes its my craziest time at rag, probably coz its the first time i was the last few on the float when its countdown time.
this is my third time doing rag, and its the one time i really didnt bother abt meals or where i sat or how dirty my clothes or i got or how chui i looked (and i know ppl are shooting photos). i sat wherever there was space, knowing full well its dirty. have paint on my tshirt and shorts. paint all over my hands and legs. glitter over my face. blue black, abrasion, cut. a freaking big patch of contact glue on my leg which was bloody painful to remove after that, pulling off all my hair and leaving red dots where the hairs used to be. i dunno how they got there, i dunno abt anything else, i didnt even realize all that until past cut off time; there wasn't any time to care, and it wasnt of any concern when compared to rag.
and yes, i believe this is the spirit of rag.

8th aug
rag day. the prog was pushed back by 2hrs, so we didnt have to go down that early. saw pin in his full costume and makeup. haha. saw charles too when he helped push the sci float. he looked so shocked to see me hahah. when we saw floats frm other halls, gloria and i told each other, that best float would not be ours. we banged on our presentation, with that little surprise we had. no one would have expected us to hide the band in the float. we cheered with all we had. we screamed. we enjoyed the performance. and then, it was over.
waiting of the results was torturing. seriously. we huddled together, and i recalled how we lost to kr at the very same place. yinghui's face was changing with each time they announced the results for flag. it wasn't difficult to imagine her blaming herself, considering that i was a swoc flagger myself last yr. it was shit, as the results went on. gloria and i linked arms, and listened. the faces of the raggers were full of tears. swocs were tearing. i didnt cry.
when the winner of the chancellor's shield was announced, that's it. our faces only spelt dismay, disappointment and sadness. i saw a blur. it just swept me away like that. then lionel shouted for us to go to the field. i knew wad we were going to do.
we stood, facing the swocs. darius our jcrc pres told us to hold our heads high, just like wad was said two years ago. then the command was given, while darius held onto our flag. we sang the hall anthem, with strength, with conviction. i saw a blur again. master told us not to cry because we arent losers, and that we would get it back again, and all of us shouted instinctively, because we knew in our hearts that yes we are freaking getting it back.
we did our tunnel for the raggers. and before the raggers came in, suddenly yinghui collapsed and sobbed, and kept repeating that she didnt do enough for flag. lionel pulled her aside and comforted her. i felt rather helpless.
after that, the tunnel broke up and we just stood around. i turned back, and saw nigel collapsed on the ground crying. sab was sobbing in joey's hug. i faced the field in front again, and just stood there. i wouldnt say things flashed in my mind. it was a quiet moment for myself, and i believe, a quiet moment for many. the raggers gathered to talk. the dancers gathered to talk. and i just stood there looking at the grass. it was a blur again. 千头万绪涌上心头时，根本不知道那是什么情绪。
the atmosphere did lighten up afterwards, with our blk guys throwing raggers into the air. im baked totally, coz i had no sunblock on. we had no food frm the time we woke up. its crazy. then later ppl started leaving, and gloria, yee voon, bei en, zhao ke and a few more stayed to wait for the lorry to help them load up the stuff. and we decided we shall go for a good breakfast+lunch+dinner, which we call 3-in-1!! hahahaz.
settled for vivo kim gary after a nice bath. met joyce and peng fei when they went out of kim gary. and when we settled, we saw xu han with his gf at another table. we were laughing our heads off and he was looking so paiseh. HAHA. i never thought i would mingle with the freshies like this. really. and wad's more, with msians, indo, and prcs at the same table!
then we went back to the lounge to watch the olympics opening. it was freaking long lah. the front was pretty impressive, and it was evident that much effort and many rehearsals went into it, coz it was so neat though so many people were involved! then came the part where each country came in. wad's funny was that singaporeans in the lounge were a minority! there was only ck and me?! later swee foo joined in. it was funny how we waited for each other's countries, and cheered for all of them when they entered. for m'sia, for michelle's indonesia, for min woo's korea, for shann's bangladesh, for our singapore, and for china. its really pretty cool. but it took us loads of patience to wait through the 200+ countries. in fact ck slpt and we woke him up with our shouting when bush appeared on screen. he fell back aslp and was awoken again when i shouted when jiawei came in as the flag bearer. then it took so long before the lighting of torch we were all perpectually dying and ming zhe was getting all high by himself saying lame things hahah.
its pretty amazing how the prcs were able to name each athlete who carried the flag and passed the torch, and wad sport they participate in, and even which olympic games did they get the gold medal. talk abt national identity and sense of belonging huh. (三句不离本行这句话还真是说得没错。all that NE thing got into me.) finally the torch was lighted, and then after all the fireworks, it was over! and we all could go back to our rooms, while zhen lin was still asking for ppl to eat supper with him. damn funny.

today watched half of men's artistic gymnastics with bei en. went home and watched some more tv. oh yes i watched women's handball too. glad i played abit of handball in hall as a freshie so i at least know the rules and know wad's going on. watched ndp after that. mum was commenting the same thing as me: its so small scale as compared to olympics opening. which is duh actually. but coz of the comparison it became so obvious. havent been on the news or reading the papers these days. ohwells.

i've got nice freshies as neighbours! hehehe.. i guess this time, i'll really feel like a senior, coz its a new environment in a familiar place, with freshies staying around me. edlina told me, that she would nv imagine me going for swoc just for the sake of having fun. she said that i wasnt like this in yr1. and then i told her, its coz i noe, these days dun last. these days are freaking, seriously, bloody ending. i dun want them to end, but yes they are going to. these last uni years where i can have fun, dirty fun, sick fun, things like seeing ppl rolling on the grass (and eating some in the process) and taupok themselves, these i can never get in my profession in future. and im going to work for another few decades. there's never going to come a time when i can do crazy things anymore, or be dirty (in both ways), or just simply enjoy being young. i guess i can relate to, why ppl like chio actually can do rag in his office wear without caring. we all wanna hold on to smth we lost.

its the start of the new year, and i know i have stuff to work on. and im sure its the same for everyone too, this time including the guys who are finally yr1 freshies. jiayou!! i tell the freshies, and i tell the guys, treasure ur time. its over before u noe anything at all. i can nv emphasize enough.